Then I thought I might as well use what I have to clear my mind - blogs, journals, music, etc. I'm pretty sure that I've brought this up before, but I'm always afraid to let others know what I think and feel because that would then reveal most, if not all my weaknesses. Trust me, there are plenty of those.
Hence, a new year's resolution. Okay, okay. I know - it's the end of September... but I guess the year is starting early for me. Starting October 1st I'm going to write an entry at least once a day to clear my head. It might be public, it might be private, or it might be in my actual journal written by hand... but an entry written by me will exist somewhere.
Okay, so with that said - let's get back to this entry.
As I was saying, I've been screwing up - with school, money, my social life, work, and my physical health, which then affects my emotional health. Or maybe my emotional state triggered all of this. I don't know. It's funny, the only thing I'm sort of keeping up is the relationship I have with my family. The tables turned. I've been really irresponsible. I only turned eighteen two weeks ago, and already I'm over this lifestyle of excessive alcohol and partying. Since the summer up until last week there was alcohol in my system for at least 4 out of 7 days in the week. The cigarettes are gonna have to go too. I want this pack, the first one I've bought since I turned eighteen, to be the last one.
I wonder how long this is going to last.
I'm going to have to grow up and take control of my life; I know I sort of lost it for a while.
This is going to sound really weird, but I looked into the mirror today and felt the most physically attractive than I've been in a while, and then I almost cried out of disappointment.
I don't recognize this person.
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