"I'm too fly to be depressed."

I'm not going to lie, I know that usually when I write I'm feeling one of many extreme emotions - happiness, sadness, anger, guilt, etc. Most of the time it'd be out of depression (there were so many of those blogs... I made them private out of embarrassment). However, this is not one of those blogs! I'm actually feeling pretty content with my life for once.

These past few months had a fair share of ups and downs. Family members were checking in and out of hospitals, bills were piling up, friends came and went, and boys were breaking hearts. I let it all get to me and pull me down, but I think I'm starting to bounce back from it all.

I'm sticking closer to home for school - at Santa Monica College. If I were to read this entry last year, I would have kicked myself. I was so ready to move out and go to UCSD. If you're wondering why I'm not going there anymore... well, to be honest, I screwed up. I got a D in Economics.* It doesn't seem so bad anymore, though. I want to save money, and I think before I finally move out I'd like to fix my relationship with my dad. Maybe. UCSD can wait for now, and it's cool with me. Who knows? I might not even want to go there anymore in two years.

Along with going to a cheaper alternative for school, I've been job hunting for the past two weeks. So far it hasn't gone so well, but I was on Craigslist (my new favorite website?) and the Coffee Bean at Paramount Pictures Studios is hiring. First of all, it'd be awesome if I were to work there because it's two or three blocks away from my house. Second of all.. working inside Paramount? I think that in itself would be pretty cool. I sent in my resumé, so cross your fingers for me, goizzz.

At the moment, the love life is non-existent. I'd dig into the details of the past, but I'd rather not relive it. Basically, I finally fell hard for someone. As much as I hate vulnerability and the "L" word, I have to admit that I think I just might have loved him. It sort of sucks because he was one of my closer friends, and now he's a complete stranger to me. Whatever happens happens, though. I don't regret a thing. I just hope he's doing alright.

I've been somewhat of a hermit since graduation. I've only kept in touch with a few people lately. It should be the exact opposite though, since everyone's going to be going off to other cities and states (and countries, if you're Chiara!). But hey, I'm not totally disconnected from the world. I still tag some Facebook walls now and then. I don't know what it is, though. I've got no real explanation for my semi-anti-social phase.

In any case...
I'm happy where I am right now, and that's all I've ever wanted.

P.S.
I'm tired of these "me" blogs. The next blog I write will be of some substance, I promise.
Check out Julius's blogs too!

P.P.S.
I know no one reads this... but if you do, please suggest a song or two for me to add to my iPod. It's in dire need of an update.

*Edit: So today I found out that I could have gone to UCSD anyway because Economics isn't an A-G requirement. Oh vellllll!

Back At Your Door

Ello Gov'nah.
You'll never guess who's finally gotten a grip on her life. Mhmm! Expect updates.
I've never felt so compelled to look to the future this way.
In fact, I've gotten into such a good mood, I changed the layout of this thing.



Something tells me I'll be writing here more often.

Well I don't know what I'm looking for

But I know that I just want to look some more.

I've got no idea of what I'm doing.
Help?