Saving Face

This mask is starting to really weigh down on me again.

One Too Many Dreams Deferred

Langston Hughes once asked the world,
"What happens to a dream deferred?"
Then I wondered what had happened
To all the dreams I once had.

"Deseo ser una bailarina, una actriz, o una maestra de español.
Una cantante, una músico, quizás una escritor..."

As I became a jack of many trades (yet a master of none),
I slowly but surely saw each of my dreams

Become raisins in the sun.

And as one dream was conceived, the dream prior would fade -
None were ever pursued for no progress was made.

Now I'm left with ghosts of reveries that have died,
and all I dream of is a dream to be realized.

I woke up today.

When I say that, I mean that I really woke up.

I just realized that life goes on and I need to accept that everything that had happened, happened.

I won't be sad or bitter forever.

Baby, I'm done - and it feels so good to be free.

I thought about it.

I was going to abandon this blog, but someone convinced me to keep it, 'cause apparently people need updates.

I'm doing a lot better since the year started, and I've kept up with my resolutions. I haven't smoked or consumed alcohol, but that's not the best part. I bought my dancing shoes today, and I'm really excited about starting that again. I also decided that I'm going to take some classes for fun in the spring, but I'm not exactly sure what those classes are yet. I know that I'm definitely going to meet with the head of the music department at LACC, though.

So I know that I'm starting a bunch of new things this year, but some things might need to end, too; uh, that's a whole other story to be thought about.