Diversions

I've been working on these banners this week... I can't choose which one I want to use for the Myspace. Help?

Is it really just all in the head? I feel like I just psyched myself out to make myself believe that I've been okay. Yesterday I had to open a box that I thought I had sealed shut, and not only did it catch me off guard, but it overwhelmed me a lot more than I thought it would. I wish I could keep the past where it should be. Hopefully it will only take a little more time to full get over everything.

I always find myself expecting too much from people. Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful for the people who have been there. It may be selfish of me, but it just seems like the people who I want to be there for me never are, and never will be. I never know what I want. When I think I've figured it out, I find that I only want what's wrong for me, or what's out of reach. I think that's how I am when it comes to relationships too. I'm not just talking about intimate relationships, but with friends as well. Maybe I just really have poor judgment sometimes.

I finally took my placement test at LACC, and I can't wait to go to school (I don't know how many times I've said that before). I was really considering going to the Art Institute for graphic design, and as much as I love doing it, I honestly don't know if I'm totally set on that idea. I have way too many interests, and I think taking my general ed classes for now will have to suffice until I figure it all out. It's a lot cheaper that way, too.

I guess I'll have to see where everything goes.

Deductive Reasoning

I've come to the conclusion that our world is going to end sometime in the near future. You're probably wondering why I would say such a thing... and I'm going to tell you why.

WE'RE MOVING TOO FAST.

It's all about instant gratification these days, and we're only going to be moving faster.

When you think about all the technological "advancements" the world has discovered, most (if not all) of them have something to do with getting things done quicker. Let's take the car, for example. We now have cars that can go up to 700 MPH, cars that can start without you even sitting in your seat, and... alright well, I don't know cars too well, but you get the picture.

Then of course the internet, the non-physical world of convenience, came into play. You can get anything you want at the tip of your fingertips. The internet and cell phones have also butchered the English language. You know what I'm talking about. "C u later! What r u doin 2nite? G2G!"

We're all so accustomed to being lazy. We live in a world with remote controls, iPods, cellular phones, wireless fidelity, social networking websites... I could name so many other things, but I'll stop right there because it's not just technology that's moving faster.

People in general are moving faster with regard to intimacy. The traditional relationship has gotten lost in the hook-up generation that we live in now. We're animals by nature, and now skip the dating game and jump to sex.

It's not even taboo in the media, anymore. There are so many movies that are just explicitly about sex (such as Sacha Baron Cohen's new movie Brüno), and the songs at the top of the chart are no different. Lately my twelve year old sister has been walking around the house singing the song "Love Game" by Lady Gaga, and telling me that she wants to take a ride on my disco stick. I hope to God that she doesn't know what she's talking about.

Alright, so where am I going with this? With sex being everywhere these days (and technology as its catalyst), I believe that we're going to have the biggest baby boom in history, overpopulate the world, and die from a lack of resources. Either that, or we'll all give each other STIs and die that way.

However, I could be totally wrong about this. Maybe the promotion of sex will balance itself out with the promotion of safe sex. I don't really hear songs about birth control being played on the radio, though...

The moral of this rant is:
Use a condom.

By the way, please don't take this seriously. I'm not hating on how fast things are moving. I love the Internet, and I love fast cars. I cherish my microwave, and I'm on Facebook all the time. Just remember... no glove, no love.

I no longer hear the music.

I don't know if you'll ever read this, but I feel like I have no other way of getting through to you.

After a major breakdown (or possibly a breakthrough) a few nights ago, I think I really am finally over it all. I realized that I'm never going to get the kind of closure that I want, so I'm making it for myself. I think I really did love you at one point, but the rose tint in my glasses faded a while ago, and I just don't see you in that way anymore. I still care, though, and I hope that you'll be okay. I'm sorry if I ever said or did anything wrong. My intentions were always good, and I never meant to hurt you in any way. I really do miss you as a friend, and hopefully things can go back to the way they used to be someday. I just want for you to be happy.

Take care, handsome.

Short and Simple

Things are okay these days. Everything has blown over, and the world (at least my part of it) has been peaceful. I think all the stress that I was going through almost seemed normal to me, and now everything just seems a bit dull. I need stimulation of some sort. Spice up my life, please?

I miss a few people, a lot of the time... and they really have no clue.